New Blog and Confessions of the Heart...

There are a lot of things that God is working on in my life right now. So, I decided to start a new blog. I honestly first deleted it because I was afraid of some people reading it that didn't really care about what was going on in my life. I also hardly have time for updating anymore. I guess mornings are the best time for my quite time, and my journal time. But like I said...there is a lot of bitterness in my heart right now, and I have recently realized how it is now starting to really hurt a couple of my closest relationships. Maybe its the fact that Tommy and I have been trying to start a family now for the last 6 months, and it just hasn't happened. I feel like we are truly ready to raise a child. We have been married almost 3 years now, and having a baby was definitely not something we wanted to rush into. We have been enjoying married life, and each other...but in my eyes, its time now. Who knows.... I know it will happen in God's timing, but its so hard to be patient sometimes, especially when its the one thing you want most. Maybe I still have a lot of unforgiveness in my heart. I know I have a really bad temper (I blame it on my genes and Irish/Native American heritage haha), and I have a problem getting past hurt done to me, and the people I love most. I know God can change my heart though. Only He can. I am going to try really hard to forgive and FORGET. I guess that last word is the hardest for me to do when I haven't even seen remorse from the ones doing the hurting. I guess I feel like they don't deserve my forgiving and forgetting. Wow....that is bitter. If God felt that way about me....I would have no hope.

Last night, Randi Kay called me and told me some horrible news. Our friend Samantha's boyfriend Shaun passed away yesterday morning. He was at a hospital in Birmingham when it happened. I don't know all the details, but I do know he had Cystic Fibrosis, and had a lung transplant. My heart hurts so bad for Samantha right now. She really loved and cared for Shaun, and I honestly was expecting them to get engaged at any minute. Please keep her and his family in your prayers. I can't imagine how hard this is. He was 27 years old. I will post the arrangements as soon as I know. I will be going to the wake for sure, and the funeral if it is not on a work day. They won't let me off for that.

On a much less depressing note...tonight is girl's night out at Kotos, thats if ya'll are still up for it? I think it is much needed. Tomorrow is Friday. That is also much needed! Saturday is cooking for our kids, and Tommy and my Dad will be cooking a jambalaya together. Mayer Watts is sponsoring them. So I will probably help with that for a while, and then it is cleaning the house, and doing much needed yard work!

Hope everyone has a good weekend!