God Is In Control

Since my last post, a lot has happened. This has been a very long week in fact. Its been a rollercoaster of emotions for us. We were excited, scared, excited, scared, nervous, happy, upset, excited, and then angry. Of course when we found out we were pregnant 2 weekends ago, we were ecstatic! Then, when the doctors and nurses were a little concerned, of course we were too. Then on Thursday night a week ago, I had to go to the emergency room because I started bleeding more heavily, and the cramps got really bad. The doctor there told me I was more than likely going to miscarry. I can't even express the sadness I felt. We still never gave up hope. I went the next day to do more blood work, and my HCG level was increasing still! It would have decreased if I was miscarrying. On this past Monday, I went for more blood work, and then headed to see Tommy graduate from the BRPD Academy. I am so proud and happy for him. Then afterwards, we went for an ultrasound. They couldn't see anything because of my low levels. I still don't know why they had me do that. You can't see even a sac until the HCG level is at least 1000, and mine at the time was only 322. Then I met with the doctor on call, who also told me that even though my level is increasing, it isn't increasing fast enough for this to be a good pregnancy, and pretty much suggested for me to go ahead and have a DNC. Yeah, this doc was off his rocker for suggesting that to me. I truly thought Tommy was going to whip out his baton and beat the guy up. He was not being a compassionate doctor at all. Of course I told him that there is no way on earth I would take this out of God's hands, and wonder for the rest of my life if this little miracle inside me would come out of this and be a healthy pregnancy. Low and behold, yesterday I went for more blood work (5th time), and my level almost doubled from Monday! Its in the 500's. Dr. Lee called me (my doctor) and told me that she is very confident that this pregnancy is going to take off, and be a good one! My HCG level is increasing faster and higher, and my progesterone level is at where it should be! Finally some hope! Some good news! Both me and Tommy couldn't stop smiling and crying we were so happy! 10 minutes later, my work called and fired me. Yes, it is illegal. Yes, I have missed a week of work due to my bed rest. Yes I provided doctors notes ahead of time. Yes, I have put calls into Copart's HR, Dept. of Labor legal division, Attorney General, Better Business Bureau, Governor's Office Commission of Human Rights, and a lawyer. How heartless of them to fire me when I am on bed rest due to complications of my pregnancy. I know this is a blessing in disguise. Who would want to work for a company like this? Not me. I sure don't need the stress. Yesterday I was so angry, upset, stressed. But I realized that now, I have time to do Premier Designs full time. God has blessed me with that, and I am going to put all my extra effort into growing my business even more. As it is, I already have a total of 3 people in my downline! Its already building. Angelle also got fired from Copart a couple of months ago for missing work to bring her ill son to the doctor. Provided notes and all. Anyway, she is a single mom, and is now doing Premier full time, and she is making more with Premier than she did at Copart! Its so encouraging to me. The founder of Premier started this business so that mothers can stay at home and raise their children. I pray to God that I can do that. I know He has and will provide. Amber gave me a wonderful quote yesterday, "I don't know what my future holds, but I know WHO holds my future". God has taken care of us numerous time in the past, and He will continue to do so. I may not understand why I haven't had a normal healthy pregnancy so far, but I can trust that God hasn't given me something I can't handle. He has blessed us with this little miracle fighter for a reason, and I can have total trust that God is in control either way this goes. I have complete faith that I will meet my little son or daughter in 9 months.

Tomorrow I go for yet more blood work, and then I meet with my doctor for the first time since I found out I was pregnant. Hopefully my level has continued to increase. They are still worried because of my bleeding. So I am still not out of the woods. If it has increased, then Dr. Lee said she can pretty much predict that we should be able to see something on an ultrasound on Monday of next week! What a wonderful Mother's Day present that would be for me! Please keep all of us in your prayers. We are honestly very exhausted physically and emotionally. Thank ya'll for all the support, thoughts, and prayers. We love ya'll, and I will keep ya'll posted tomorrow!